What would Paul have accomplished if not for the thorn in his side? How much faster would the Gospel have spread if only he had not been kept in chains for so much of his ministry. Paul soldiered on though and ignored the pain and praised the chains. Imagine if one day Timothy had fallen into despair and begged his friend “Teacher please do not head out to Corinth, they will only spite you and you should stay here and find comfort for your illness first”. It seems silly to expect a sunny clear day of a life for a fallen race. Paul would not let physical or spiritual bondage hamper him or delay him long from a destiny that was handed him on a dusty road several years before. And what then should we take from this? A bowed back and a steel disposition? An apathy of movement propagated for the perfect window of opportunity? How do we apply this, well that is the trick is it not. Do not tell me I must tie my shoes before I can care for a friend. Would I bind progress at the hope of a pseudo-perfection? May it not be!

Ok so at times like this I sit and wonder. And then I type a few types and when I review what I have written it all seems so wrong. Backspace……..A fresh slate. Should I wager again and let fly a few more words, phrases, modifiers, gerunds, period, new paragraph, indention, tab
You see what I am is not what I say, and by this I mean what I say is not really what I am. Now what I write is a more perfect picture, a say black and white watercolor of a colorful thought.
I find it hard to express my thoughts in words, unless my audience is a certain size. It should not be that way. I find it strange and unfulfilling to try and put my best foot forward in print. Not in this day not in this age. I always dream of a time before ours where writing from the heart, all-in, adjective chomping prose walked and ruled the earth. It makes me a dichotomy in way. And so I proclaim my thoughts on this thing to a crowd I can not see and to lives that I do not know how I affect. I am like, no I am one who fears the clinical and scariness of the status quo. But is it because I will find it in myself someday or on a day not so far ahead? “We were so sure we would change the world” a favorite song plays in the background. And what if I think that that is possible? And do I need your counsel? Do I need your timetables and modalities? I should trust I guess, but trust is a game best played on a level playing field. Backspace…………tab, indent.
Written with joy in my heart and anticipation of sanctification foremost in mind. Is that what you found?